Me in the party: Gosh golly! This beat is… Whoo! This beat is… DANDY!
Here’s a basic rule: if you’re reading or watching a Shakespeare play, and you’re not imagining the actors standing in front of a mosh pit of jeering Londoners waiting to throw vegetables at the stage, you’re doing it wrong.
Shakespeare might have written the best works in the English language, or given us profound insight into the nature of humanity, or whatever — but his works wouldn’t have survived to our day if he hadn’t been popular when he was alive, and he wouldn’t have been popular when he was alive if he hadn’t been able to please the crowd. And that includes a lot of dirty jokes. A lot.
Sometimes in incredibly inappropriate places. We’re here to rescue a few of those for you, and retroactively embarrass the heck out of your fourteen-year-old self, who had to stand up in English class and read things that, in retrospect, are absolutely filthy.
This isn’t about the stuff that always does crack fourteen-year-olds up in English class, but is totally innocent: the “bring me my long sword, ho!” sort of thing.
But the kids who lose it every time the word “ho” is uttered are closer to the spirit of Shakespeare than the teacher who demands they treat the words like museum pieces.
Sure, it would be awkward for teachers to explain the Elizabethan double entendres to their students — but pretending they don’t exist makes Shakespeare seem unnecessarily stuffy and difficult.
So we’re going to start with the most obvious innuendoes, and move on to some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind."
some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind.
This is a fair point
straight men are so weird why dont you go fuck the pillsbury doughboy go eat the michelin mans ass
Orlando, who was dining with Leonardo DiCaprio at the Cipriani restaurant on Wednesday night, was very, very angry, when Justin, who didn’t have a reservation at the eatery, approached their table to try to talk to the actors.
DiCaprio had proceeded to shoo away the pop singer with his hand, leading Bieber to provoke a fight which saw Bloom jump over a sofa to get at the 20-year-old Baby singer at the restaurant."
*whispers* Mulan, Merida, and Rapunzel didn’t have men saving them
*regular voice* Lilo and Nani’s sisterly love for each other was a big point in their movie
*slightly aggravated voice* Enchanted questioned marrying a man you hardly know
*shouting* FROZEN ISN’T THE FIRST MOVIE TO HAVE THESE POINTS